Perfectly Acceptable Excuses for Rude Behavior: The Telephone

The live person waiting for a scheduled appointment with you is more important than the phone call you are on.

But if you've ignored this Absolute Truth and blown off your live appointment, you must apologize for your Rude Behavior.

It's best to come up with a good story. This is lying, but lying is better than rudeness.

Don't say "I was on the phone" (that's not an apology; that's a fact). Don't say "I'm sorry, I was on the phone" or even "I'm so sorry. I couldn't get off the phone." Everybody can get off the phone. There's a little button that you push.

No, you need to do better. Here are some excuses you can use:

"My son, Moot IV, called to say a hurricane is coming and that he could see it from I-26."

"I was leaving my office to come and get you when I was trapped behind the desk by a giant palmetto bug that demanded to know how much money I have in my IRA."

"Even though it sounded like I was simply conversing with my tennis partner, I actually was undertaking, at the request of the police, extremely sensitive hostage negotiations with a man who was threatening to blow himself up in St. Michael's steeple. Because of the hostage protocol developed by a secret military tribunal on which I once sat, the police will forbid any coverage of this incident by the media, so that's why it won't appear in tomorrow's newspaper. But it's over now. Thanks for waiting!"